Sharing Part V

As Emma's baptism nears and I think of all that we have been through to arrive here at the marker of year eight, it is bittersweet.  Our sweet sweet girl is growing-growing up and growing in ability and growing in knowledge.  Does she get it?  When Emma interviewed with Bishop, did she understand what he said?  I don't think she got the analogy about entering the gate to start on the path to our Heavenly Father.  I could be wrong.  Emma always seems to surprise me.  Always.

The best way that I can describe Emma and her abilities is consistently inconsistent!  If she can do it today, she may not be able to tomorrow.  If she did it yesterday she may be too stubborn to do it today.  I had a quick phone chat with my brother (Emma's favorite person EVER) and after hanging up, Emma asked "who's that?"  I replied that it was Jason to which Emma said, "Manna here."  Jason's daughter Madeline is in town for spring break and Emma was aware Madeline would be in town sometime this week.  But, she got it!  Can she count to 10? not every day.  Does she get her colors right? not every time.  Does she know Madeline is in town? yep and isn't that what really is most important! 

When I stop to think about what Emma does and try to understand that miracle of a brain, I inevitably learn so much.  I have learned that more than several people believe Emma's stubbornness was directly given by her mother.  I will not believe it! 

I enjoy listening to Emma joke and strengthen her sense of humor.  "Look at me" commands are now more subtly displays of silliness awaiting laughs from her family.  Last summer we were on a trip to a cabin in Utah where there was much card playing and snacking going on.  Emma and Madeline were keeping Grandma and Grandpa busy cracking sunflower seeds and 'stachios.  Grandpa quipped, "what are ya, a buncha birds?"  Without missing a beat, Emma replies, "Tweet! Tweet!"  She got a laugh, she knew she would.  How can you have a sense of humor but be missing what it takes to do what other 8 year olds are doing?  Will I ever understand? 

Will I ever?

When Emma was 3, she had an MRI.  Full sedation, MRI.  This was a terrifying experience.  I hate waiting for doctor's appointments, my hands literally drip with sweat, it is sad really.  So waiting, waiting, go to the MRI room where you must remove EVERYTHING metal so that you are not violently pulled to the machine and suffer some violent fate.  Actually I don't know what happens, I just know we practically got a pat down to make sure we had no metal.  Next, our beautiful child is affixed to the "bed" where she will undergo testing to see what is wrong with her brain.  If you want to stick me in a tube that makes very loud noises and take away my mom, I think I would have a hard time sitting still thus, full sedation.  I don't know if you have ever watched you child's eyes roll back into their head and then be knocked out but it is extremely scary.  What if they did it wrong?  What if she doesn't wake up?  What if she had some adverse reaction?  I cried, I cried and sobbed.  I just remember thinking I should be in there with her but all the while thanking God that Rob could be there.  What good would I be to my little Emma if I was crying, it surely wouldn't comfort her.  By the time the test was over, I was composed and we were ready to take our baby home.  Test results?  Normal.  No mal-formations of the brain, no damage.  Nothing.

Well, if my 3 year old has nothing wrong with her brain, she must be able to catch up with her peers.  She is ONLY 3 and Dr. Duddy has seen more children than not catch up.

Will  I ever understand?  Will these boots that are made for walking dance at my daughter's wedding..........